Earlier today, my friend Nikki posted a recent letter from her mother on the TranscenderGender group blog and asked for advice on how to respond. A little background is necessary.
In April, Nikki told her family that she plans to transition to living full time as Nikki. Although they have been supportive, her mother wrote Nikki about her efforts to find a way to understand the changes brought on by Nikki’s decision and how to explain them to family members who have not yet heard the news. She told Nikki that the best way she could find to do that “is to consider that there is no more [Nikki’s male name] and he is deceased!!!!!!!!,” and to tell family members “that [Nikki’s male name] is deceased and that Nikki is now our daughter.” She acknowledged how “unreal” it felt to write that her child is dead and asked Nikki what she thought of this approach. Nikki, in turn, asked the rest of us for our thoughts before she responds. This is my response:
Living My Life 