Comments for Living My Life

Comment on Spirituality and the New Feminism by Abby

Abby — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 06:43:50 +0000

I’m having a hard time articulating why I like this artcle so much and wanted to share it here. I suppose it’s because Robin describes the kind of world I have always wanted to be in, and the kind of woman I’ve always wanted to be: wild, free, loving, nurturing, connected to the earth and those around me, and showing that there is a different path than aggression, conflict and violence.

Comment on More on Transsexual Marriage Rights by Abby

Abby — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:30:01 +0000

Joann, your personal situation in an excellent example of how screwed up our state and federal laws are with respect to changes in birth certificates, driver’s licenses and other identification documents, and which, if any, of those documents controls for purposes of determining who a transgender person can marry in a state where same sex marriage is illegal. I’m glad you were finally able to get a copy of your birth certificate and find a sympathetic clerk who would honor it and issue you and your wife a marriage license. Congratulations! Hopefully, some day, we won’t have to jump through such hoops to live as who we are and marry who we love.

Comment on More on Transsexual Marriage Rights by Joann Prinzivalli

Joann Prinzivalli — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 21:20:26 +0000

From October 2, 2009 until yesterday, my sweetie and I have had several problems just getting documentation together. She’s a WBF, no problems for her. But since I have changed my name (comon law in 2000) pre 9/11, and my DL sex is F based on NYS DMV regs, the NYC Bureau of Vital Records wouldn;t allow me to get a copy of my own birth certificate, despite ancillary proof (old DL with old name and sex) and proof of name change (Declaration, not a judgment. I had to get a court order directingthem to turn over the B/C. Then the City of White Plains City Clerk refused to issue a marriage license because my name on the DL does not match the name on my B/C. Another lawsuit is imminent, even though we went down to NYC and the NYC City Clerk’s office was good enough to issue the license.

Part of my problem is that I am medically unfit for surgery and none of the surgeons will touch me. So I am legally female under DMV regs, and legally male for marriage based on an unchanged B/C.

To me it’s a loophole, and I think I get a pass in all 50 states and federally on the marriage issue, though I technically have to be the “groom.” I won;t do that on a passport, though, so I just don;t have one – I am going to try to get an enhanced drier’s license so I can at least take advantage of the Western hemishpere initiative.

Comment on Validation by Abby

Abby — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:17:56 +0000

I can relate to what you said about being creeped out if a stranger validated you like in this video. However, I believe that, if we do it when we are centered in our hearts and with nothing but love in our thoughts, most people can overcome that initial reaction and hear, at least, a little, the truth about themselves they are being told. Exactly how we do that varies with the situation. Sometimes, the only thing we can do to avoid arousing fear in the other person is to simply smile and move on. Whatever we do to validate the inherent worth of another person, no matter how seemingly small the gesture may be, it all helps to transform the world from one of fear to one of love.

Awesome, me? Wow, thank you. I’ve enjoyed the parts of your blog that I’ve managed to read, too. I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you while you were here in Arizona. Now that you’re “down under,” I suppose it will be a while before that happens, but I suspect it will someday.

Comment on Validation by Sonia

Sonia — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 10:44:28 +0000

Have to admit it, that video made me smile a bit. Ever notice, though, how socially awkward it is to validate people like that? I mean, I feel like it would be really creepy if someone out of th blue said stuff like that to me…I’d wonder why they were saying it, wonder if they were trying to hit on me, and then I’d be freaked out a little by it. I wonder if others feel the same way.
It seems so weird to have those reactions, though. We all need a little bit of love. I would love to hear such nice things–anyone would! But there is so much present that makes these little affirmations so difficult to say and to hear. It breaks my heart a little.

On an unrelated note: You are awesome. You have great opinions that you boldly share with the world. You are great.

Comment on I’m a Dreamer by bridgeout

bridgeout — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:20:24 +0000

I am a dreamer too! And I like your version of the speech!
We have to keep dreaming and hoping! I am also a realist… and we shall see what Obama may indeed put his power behind.

Comment on Resources on cisgender, cissexual and cis privilege by James C Caillouette MD

James C Caillouette MD — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 17:33:52 +0000

I gave a Gender paper at Keck/USC that may be of some interest. Please e-mail if you wish to see a copy as well as a CV. jcc

Comment on Another Outing by Celeste

Celeste — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:33:23 +0000

Because of what you value and work for, Abby, future generations of our ilk won’t suffer as have so many of us before them. Glad to have gotten to know you.

-Celeste

Comment on Validation by joanieh

joanieh — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 05:07:48 +0000

Hi Abby,

Thanks for sharing this. I got a good smile out of it – and it pretty much fit in with my philosophy of life. I’ve always felt that life gives each of us too much in the way of pain and we should all take some extra effort not to add to the sadness of the world. I have always felt that politeness, and a smile are the cornerstones of civilization and I will go a long way to avoid hurting someone. R.A. Heinlein once stated, “Those who do not believe in politeness are throwing sand into the cogs of a machine that works poorly at best.”

While I concur with this idea, I would have to state that if each of us would take a few seconds each day to try to make someone smile, a lot of what is wrong in this world would eventually heal. Lets face it, if we take the collective history of every culture on the planet, there should be more to bind us together than to tear us apart. How do we do this? That’s the hard part as it is a lot easier to get people to hate than it is to get them to love. However, if we start performing random acts of kindness and validation of the humanity of others, perhaps we can start a chain reaction that may actually make this world a better place to live in.

It is a truism that misery loves company, and for social beings, isolation is misery. Perhaps if we can alleviate the isolation a bit, we can raise the average of the individuals around us as a by-product.

Wonderful thing to share! I loved it!
Joanie

Comment on Why the Jury Had No Trouble Convicting Angie Zapata’s Murderer by kelli Busey

kelli Busey — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:28:50 +0000

You did such a wonderful job helping us to understand this case Abby. You dispelled the rumors and fortified my certainty when I was in doubt. Thank you.